


A Blaze of Light

by spontaneoussquirrel17



Series: Lover Come Over [8]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Is a Good Bro, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Catholic Steve Rogers, Flash Forward, Flashbacks, Hanukkah, Jewish Bucky Barnes, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:41:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21883159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spontaneoussquirrel17/pseuds/spontaneoussquirrel17
Summary: Steve and Bucky celebrate the first night of first Hanukkahs.  Eight chapters - 4 from their childhood, 4 from post CA:TWS.  Despite being part of the Lover Come Over series, it is intended as more of a stand-alone work.  The author comes from the Christian tradition so any and all cultural critiques are welcome.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Series: Lover Come Over [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1446007
Comments: 32
Kudos: 27





	1. A Holiday of Happiness

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 1 title comes from Sivivon.

It was the first snow of the year. As young children raced out of the schoolyard, filled with the kind of exuberance that only cold, snow, and impending holidays can bring, two boys lagged behind. The smaller of the two stopped and threw his head back, his eyes closed and his tongue out. His shivered from pleasure and cold as the flakes hit his tongue.

"You're gonna get pneumonia again if ya keep doin' that," the boy's companion chided. Although they were only a year apart, the second boy looked much older than the first. He was tall for his age and had the air of someone who was used to looking out for others.

"Shut it, Bucky, ya sound like my ma," the smaller boy complained. He did, however, pull his too-big navy-colored knit hat down further over his ears and his matching too-big knit scarf up over his chin. "'Sides, it's nearly Christmas," he added. "Can't a fella have some fun?"

"Nope," the boy called Bucky said with cocky confidence. He and the smaller boy began to make their way down the street. "Don't believe in all that anyway," he continued after a moment.

"Bucky!" the smaller boy gasped, freezing in his tracks. His eyes widened in horror.

"What?" Bucky asked, turning around to face his compatriot with curiosity. A hint of defensiveness crept into his stance. "Ain'tcha ever hang out with a Jewish kid before? Christmas ain't our thing, Steve."

Steve, as the smaller boy was evidently called, turned a bright shade of red at his friend's words. With the snowflakes sticking to his navy hat and scarf he looked like a walking American flag. "Aw jeez, Bucky, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean-"

"Don't worry 'bout it," Bucky cut across. He gave a too-casual shrug and began walking again. Steve followed, his blonde brows furrowed in thought. "You're thinkin'," Bucky said, eyeing Steve. "Better quit it. Last time you thought, we wound up in detention."

Steve laughed. "I was just thinkin'- I ain't really never known any Jews before, leastways not as friends. Maybe I outta do some learnin' 'bout whatcha do for holidays 'n such." Steve seemed confident as he said this. The look in his eyes as he watched for Bucky's reaction, however, betrayed his uncertainty at how this suggestion would go over.

Bucky nodded as he considered Steve's words. "I ain't never had a Catholic friend before, actually," he confessed. "Maybe we outta do holidays together this year? I could learn about yours, you could learn about mine, an' we both get twice as much food 'n candy." Bucky grinned at his own brilliant idea and did a little dance, making Steve laugh. Bucky's grin grew even wider at the sound.

"Let's do it," Steve said with a grin of his own. "I don't 'spect Ma'll mind- Jesus was a Jew, after all," he reasoned with an air of theological gravity that seemed out of place coming from an eight year old.

"First night of Hanukkah's tonight, at sundown," Bucky told Steve. "You should prob'ly just stay the night, it'll be too cold for you ta walk home by the time we're done."

"Sounds keen," Steve replied. All trace of gravity was gone, replaced by the boyish grin he'd had only moments before. "See ya tonight!" With Steve's words the boys parted, each heading home to their families, full of excitement and anticipation for the evening ahead.


	2. I Didn't Come to Fool Ya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Hanukkah 2013, and a girl named Jenny gets some unexpected company as she's closing up shop for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen.
> 
> Many, many, MANY thanks to helloarmchairphilosopher for answering my million-and-one oddly specific questions about Judaism.

Jenny glanced at her watch. It was almost 5:30. Half an hour still until close. She sighed, then walked across the empty shop to look out the front window. It was dark out; or at least, as dark as it ever got in New York City. The first snow of the season was falling. Jenny watched, transfixed, as the snow swirled and spiraled under streetlights and in front of headlights.

The loud ringing of the bell on the door broke Jenny's reverie. "Welcome to Lewis and Sons," she said automatically, "Anything I can help you find?" She turned to look and saw that two large, bulky, intimidating men had just walked into the shop. Both were completely bundled up from head to toe. Jenny felt instinctually for her phone, then swore. She'd left it on the counter.

"Just lookin', I think," the taller man said as he unwound his navy knit scarf. Now that it was no longer covering his face, Jenny could see that he had a short blonde beard. She also felt herself relax a bit at the sound of the man's warm baritone voice and Brooklyn accent. He gave her a polite nod and an affable smile before looking back at his friend, who remained stony-eyed. The taller man rolled his baby-blue eyes at his black-clad friend and then began to slowly meander through the shop, his friend following like a well-trained dog.

Jenny returned to the till and watched as the two men made their way through the shop. Occasionally the man in navy would point at something and mutter to his friend in black. This went on for a few minutes before the man in black became responsive. At one point, Jenny even thought she heard a wheezy laugh. Deciding the men probably weren't a threat, she opened her book and resumed her earlier reading.

At 5:55 Jenny's phone alarm went off. "Sorry guys, I have to close," she called across the shop.

"I hope we ain't keepin' ya here late," the bearded man said as he carefully set an armful of things down on the counter, his blonde eyebrows furrowing with concern. "I'm sure ya wanna be home with your family right now. Now, Buck, was there anythi- aw, shit, I thought he was- Bucky?" The man began to look around wildly, his concern shifting to terror.

"Is that him?" Jenny asked, pointing to the back of the store. The man in black was standing nose-to-nose with a tabby cat that was perched on the top of some shelves. The pair appeared to be calmly sniffing each other. Relief flooded the bearded man's face; his eyebrows and mouth slowly relaxed.

Bucky turned to look at Jenny and the man in navy. "Cat," he said, his voice muffled by his black scarf. His attitude seemed to suggest that the single word explained everything, and that his friend was an idiot for not realizing something so obvious.

"Yeah, Bucky, you found a cat. Of course," the bearded man said with a fond smile.

"His name's Elijah," Jenny said. She closed her book. "I guess he walked into the shop one Seder and never left." Bucky nodded approvingly.

"You've left your shopping 'til late," Jenny remarked as she began to ring up the men's items. It was mostly bags of gelt, but there was also a small menorah, a box of candles, and a dreidel under the pile of chocolates.

"You know how it is," the man said with a shrug. "Watchya readin'?" he asked, his attention now caught by the book Jenny had been reading.

"'Ordinary Men' by Christopher Browning," Jenny replied. "I'm doing my senior thesis on the Holocaust. I'm at NYU," she continued by way of an explanation. "History major."

"No shit?" the man said with a grin, "My friend Kate Bishop went there. You- ya don't happen to have her number, d'ya? It's just- I haven't had a phone for a while, an' she's prob'ly worried 'bout me, an'..." He faltered a bit at the glare on Jenny's face. He must have realized how his words sounded, because his tone shifted from slightly manic to almost pleading as he finished by saying, "Just- if you could just text her, tell her Steve's a creepy piece of shit or somethin', I'd really 'ppreciate it."

"$32.50," Jenny said, still glaring at Steve, but she picked up her phone and sent a quick text to her friend Kate while Steve dug his money out of his wallet. The text read: 'u kno a creepy blonde bro named Steve?' She held her phone up so Steve could see that she'd sent it and he smiled with relief.

Steve paid with exact cash, so all Jenny had to do was bag his purchases and hand him his receipt. As he tried to pull Bucky away from Elijah ("She's gotta close up, Buck!" "I miss cats!") Jenny's phone began to vibrate. She looked down and saw the name on the screen. It was Kate. Jenny pushed the green button to answer.

Jenny couldn't even get a word in before Kate began one of her famous verbal streams. "Is he still there? Oh my God, I've been SO WORRIED, I mean I thought the news would report if he was dead but- can you put him on? I need to know he's ok. Jenny, you cannot BELIEVE what the past month has been like, this has been so ridiculous, I can't even tell you half of it because it's classified..."

"I think this is for you," Jenny called at Steve across the shop. Steve bounded over and grabbed the phone from Jenny, scaring Elijah, Bucky, and Jenny in the process. "I'll just... close up," Jenny said to Bucky. She thought she must look and sound as dazed as she felt. Bucky nodded sympathetically, then jerked his head towards Steve with a shrug that clearly indicated that he was used to his friend's eccentricities and there was no helping it.

Jenny heaved a sigh and began to shut up shop. Steve was now talking enthusiastically to Kate over her phone. Meanwhile, Bucky and Elijah seemed to be having a contest to see who could close their eyes the slowest. Jenny was beginning to regret having prayed for some company for Hanukkah this year. It was only the first night and she had already gotten quite a lot more company than she had bargained for.


	3. Let's Have a Party!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back in 1925, Steve arrives at the Barnes' apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from 'Hanukkah, Oh Hanukkah'.

Steve knocked on the Barnes' door just before sundown. A dark-haired toddler answered the door by opening it a crack. "Heya, Becks," Steve said.

"Ucky! Steewie's here!" the tot called out. She opened the door the rest of the way. Steve stepped in and began the laborious process of taking off his many layers.

"Hey, Steve, glad you could make it," Bucky said as he casually strolled across the apartment. Steve could see through to the open bedroom door behind Bucky. He noted that the pile of blankets on the bed was bigger than usual. Steve's November pneumonia must have scared Bucky more than Steve had realized. "Pops is workin' double tonight," Bucky continued as he reached the spot near the door where Steve was carefully piling his navy knitwear, "so Ma says I can be the man of the house an' lead the prayers an' stuff. 'Sides, then I don't haveta be the one makin' sure Becks don't find a way ta set herself on fire."

Steve gave a wheezy laugh at this and grinned. "Sounds great, Ucky," he said with a wicked glint in his eyes. Bucky's breezy confidence gave way to a scowl.

"She can say her B's," Bucky informed Steve, "She just thinks it's funny." Bucky glared at Becca, making her laugh and squeal with delight. He grabbed her in response and began tickling. Becks squealed more and began to wriggle in protest, hitting out with her solid little arms and legs. Steve, having finally divested himself of his last layers, doubled over in wheezy laughter at the sight of Bucky pretending that Becca's tiny flailing fists were more than a match for him.

"If you two don't stop that this instant Steve an' I'll eat all the latkes while you watch," Mrs. Barnes' voice rang out from the kitchen. "Hi, Steven," she added with a warm smile, "So glad you could come."

"It's an honor to be here," Steve politely replied.

Mrs. Barnes smiled again. "Becca, why don'tcha entertain our guest while Jimmy an' I finish gettin' supper on?"

Becca immediately grabbed Steve's pale, thin hand in her own small, pudgy, tan one. "Draw me," she demanded as she led Steve over to the chair nearest the radiator.

"Ok," Steve said with a smile. He pulled a small notebook and a pencil nub out of his trouser pocket. "But ya gotta promise not ta move, ok? Ya gotta be still or I'll mess the whole thing up." Becca nodded solemnly and sat down cross-legged on the floor as Steve took the chair next to the radiator. He looked over to where Bucky was setting the table and grinned broadly. Bucky winked in reply. Steve felt a warm glow spread through him that had nothing to do with the heat coming from the radiator. He put pencil to paper and began to draw.


	4. Who Can Retell the Things that Befell Us?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenny invites Steve and Bucky to stay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from 'Mi Yimalel'.

"Thanks a million," Steve said somewhat sheepishly as he handed Jenny her phone. "My friend 'n I are, um-"

"International fugitives, yeah," Jenny interrupted as she pocketed her phone. Steve blanched in shock. Bucky snapped his head to face her. Jenny sighed. "Look, we all know Kate spent a summer hanging out with Steve Rogers, a.k.a. Captain America," Jenny explained. "Your name is Steve, you haven't had a phone in a month, you're friends with Kate, Captain America went missing a month ago- doesn't take a genius to put two and two together. What I _haven't_ figured out," she continued, "is why you're buying Hanukkah stuff or who your boyfriend is."

Bucky and Steve exchanged glances. Steve shifted uncomfortably. Bucky's face was impassive. Finally, Steve took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Bucky's my... oldest friend," he said softly. "He's Jewish an' I was raised Catholic. We always celebrated Hanukkah 'n Christmas together- twice the food 'n candy, we usedta say. Now that he's back-" here Steve took another deep breath- "Well, I figured it'd be good ta keep the tradition alive."

Jenny thought quickly as she looked from Steve to Bucky and back again. Bucky looked coiled, ready to spring; Steve looked nervous and exhausted. "I won't turn you in," Jenny reassured them. Both men visibly relaxed. "Do you have a place to stay tonight?" she asked. Steve turned to Bucky. He shrugged, palms open and facing out. "Ok," Jenny said, killing time as she thought again, "Ok, here. I actually live in the back of the shop. You two can stay here tonight- you can have the bed, just no shtup, ok? You'll just have to leave in the morning before the shop opens."

Bucky nodded gratefully, his eyes soft. Steve's face relaxed into a momentary smile; momentary, because his brows almost immediately contracted with concern. "What about you?" he asked.

Jenny shrugged nonchalantly. "I'll sleep on the couch," she answered.

"Ok, yeah, let's- Buck, if you're ok with it?" Steve asked, looking at Bucky. Bucky nodded once in reply. "Ok," Steve continued, "Bucky, why don'tcha grab our stuff? That way you can do your recon, set up a perimeter an' all that." Bucky gave Steve another nod and a salute. Then he nodded to Jenny and Elijah, the cat, before disappearing into the back of the shop. "He's paranoid," Steve explained at the wonderment and discomfort on Jenny's face. "To say he has a traumatic brain injury would be an understatement."

Jenny paused for a moment. What had come over her? Why on earth was she letting two men she'd never met before stay with her in her apartment? _Especially_ when both were wanted fugitives- any friend of Steve's was probably considered a criminal right now- and one's brain was apparently so damaged that he was full of paranoia and unable to speak. Then again, if she could provide safety and comfort to people who needed it... especially during Hanukkah, a holiday of cleansing and rededication, a cultural symbol of surviving- even thriving- despite the odds... wasn't it her duty to provide that?

"Well, if we hurry, we can have dinner ready by the time your friend gets back," Jenny told Steve. With this she led the way to her apartment at the back of the shop, Steve and Elijah following in her wake.


	5. Gather 'Round the Table

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back in 1925, Bucky explains Hanukkah to Steve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from 'Hanukkah, Oh Hanukkah'.

Dinner was soon ready. Bucky lit the small menorah on the windowsill and led his mother and sister in the recitation of prayers and the singing of songs. Steve stood politely and watched, his hands clasped in prayer the way his mother had taught him when he was younger. He didn't understand what was going on but he appreciated the beauty of the ritual and song.

As they sat down to eat, Mrs. Barnes suggested, "Bucky, why don'tcha tell Steven 'bout what we just did?"

Bucky choked on the large bite of stew he'd just taken. "Right. Um..." he said as he swallowed, "Well, we light another candle each night of Hanukkah, 'cause we're rememberin' how the oil that was 'sposed ta last one day actually lasted eight. So we talk 'bout how a great miracle happened 'n we light a candle for each day."

"But you've got nine candles," Steve pointed out, confused.

"Well, yeah, we gotta have one to light the other with," Bucky said. His tone made it sound as though Steve should have already known this.

"Bucky," his mother chided. "It's called the Shamash, or the helper," Mrs. Barnes explained kindly to Steve. "Boys, you saw how when Bucky lit the candle for tonight with the Shamash it's own light stayed just as bright? Always remember that, boys. Sharin' the light you have don't lessen your own. It just makes the world that much brighter." Steve, Bucky, and even Becca nodded seriously at Mrs. Barnes' words.

"Like not hidin' your light under a bushel?" Steve asked. "Ma always says it ain't right ta do that any time I tell her one o' my drawin's is bad." He looked up at Mrs. Barnes with apprehension and curiosity.

"Sure," Mrs. Barnes said with a shrug. Steve could tell she wasn't quite as familiar with the saying as he was. Perhaps it came from the New Testament, he reflected. "That's why we put the menorah in the window," she continued, "so other Jews know we're here an' others see the light 'n maybe find some comfort."

"It's not just about that light stuff, though," Bucky cut across. He flinched at the look of annoyance on Mrs. Barnes' face. "Sorry for interruptin', Ma," he said sheepishly.

Mrs. Barnes sighed. "You can continue," she told her son, "I need ta fry up the latkes anyway." With that she got up and went over to the kitchen area.

As soon as her mother was no longer at the table Becca went to Bucky and sat on his lap. "Story time!" she demanded.

"Story time," Bucky agreed. "So a long time ago, way 'afore your Jesus, there was this family called the Maccabees," Bucky began. "See, ya know how we have a temple in Jerusalem? Well, we have this sacred temple, an' people keep tryin' ta destroy it thinkin' they'll destroy us, but it ain't never work that way. We Jews always survive, see. So anyway, some pagans took over the temple an' were worshipin' all their pagan gods 'n desecratin' the place. Well, the Maccabees didn't like this, so the oldest decides he's gonna start a war an' take the temple back. An' he wins! But it's been desecrated, ya know, by those awful pagans. Ya can't just pray there anymore, it ain't proper. So after they won the war 'n kicked the pagans outta the temple it had to be cleansed an' rededicated 'afore anyone could use it."

Steve nodded solemnly. "So what about the candles?" he asked. "How d'they fit?"

Bucky nodded in return. "Good question, don'tcha think, Becks?" Bucky said to his sister. She was looking up at her brother, enthralled by his tale. "See, when the Jews reclaimed the temple, we only found enough holy oil ta keep a candle lit one day," Bucky explained. "But 'cause of God it lasted eight days instead. So we light eight candles and celebrate eight nights."

"And serve latkes fried in oil!" Mrs. Barnes exclaimed as she brought a plate full of the steaming-hot treats to the table. "There's two for each of us, even you, Rebecca," Mrs. Barnes said. "I'm saving the rest for your father when he gets home. Ya know how he feels 'bout his potatoes." She handed Steve the plate, as he was the guest.

"I always forget your da's Irish," Steve commented as he pulled two latkes onto his own plate and passed the serving plate to Bucky.

"It's 'cause he's a godless commie," Bucky said matter-of-factly as he took two latkes for himself and two for Becca. She showed no signs of leaving Bucky's lap in the near future.

"He's a good man an' we love him, don't we, children?" Mrs. Barnes said. The look in her eye indicated that she expected one answer and one answer only. She took the plate from Bucky and served herself her own latkes.

"We do!" Bucky and Becca said in enthusiastic unison.

Mrs. Barnes smiled softly. "Now," she said, "once we're done with our latkes you can eat candy 'n play with the dreidel for an hour. After that, though, its bed. Ya have school tomorrow. Farshteyn?"

"Yes, Ma," Bucky and Becca said in unison. Steve nodded, his mouth full of fried potato. He also realized he'd forgotten to pack his school books. Rats. At least the latkes were worth tomorrow's humiliation. He swallowed and grinned at Bucky, who grinned back. Steve pretended the warmth in his stomach was from the latke alone. He really couldn't think what else it could be anyway.


	6. Come, Light the Menorah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenny, Steve, and Bucky sit down for dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have I mentioned that helloarmchairphilosopher has been an incredible resource? Because it's true.
> 
> Chapter title from 'Hanukkah, Oh Hanukkah'.

Dinner was soon ready. "Please don't be hurt that he doesn't eat much," Steve told Jenny as they plated the boxed mac and cheese and sauteed broccoli they'd made, "He's still getting used to solid food."

Jenny looked shocked and opened her mouth to say something, but at that moment Bucky re-entered through the back door. He began to stamp the snow off his boots and onto the mat as he took off his layers. Jenny noted a faint odor of cigarettes as layers were peeled off and neatly discarded. She realized she was staring, so she opened the fridge and took stock of the drinks situation. "I can offer you alcohol, alcohol, or alcohol," she informed Steve and Bucky as she stared into the otherwise empty fridge. The last of the milk had gone into the mac and cheese. "I can also heat up water for tea," Jenny added.

Steve put the plates on the table and peered into the fridge with concern. "We're eatin' all your food, ain't we," he said, his voice tight.

Jenny shrugged as she grabbed a beer for herself. "I've got some stuff in the freezer, and Friday's payday. I'll be fine."

Steve glared at her. He slowly pulled out his wallet, took out a twenty, and placed it in the fridge. Jenny opened her mouth to protest, but Steve held up his hand. "Nah, it's fine," he told her, "We stole this money from Hydra, who stole it from the US government, who got it from some taxpayer like yourself. Think of it as returnin' property the Nazis stole." Jenny shut her mouth, shook her head, and sat down at the table. Steve grabbed a beer and an alcopop and shut the fridge door. "You'll like these, they're sweet," Steve said as he handed Bucky a bottle of electric blue liquid. Bucky look at it with misgivings.

"Would you like to do the honors?" Jenny asked, holding a box of matches out to Bucky. Bucky took them and looked at Steve uncertainly.

"You remember?" Steve asked softly, his eyes filled with hope and pain. Bucky closed his eyes for a moment, then nodded. Relief and pride washed over Steve's face as he broke into a smile. Bucky grinned back and proceeded to light the menorah.

Leading the prayers was beyond Bucky, so Jenny stepped in. Steve joined in, stumbling a bit where things had changed since his and Bucky's time. What Bucky did remember was the singing. All three found themselves tearing up as Bucky's raspy tenor joined Steve's baritone and Jenny's alto.

"I'll have to teach you some of the newer songs after dinner," Jenny said. She paused, then held up her beer. "To friendship," she toasted.

"To survival," Steve added, holding out his own bottle.

"Cats," Bucky rasped, holding out his own bottle and smiling down at Elijah, who was curled in his lap.

"L'Chaim!" they said in unison as they clinked their bottles. Bucky's eyes went wide as he sipped his alcopop.

"Wow," he said, looking at the bottle with a grin.

"Toldja," Steve said with a grin of his own.

"So how long have you two been together?" Jenny asked, attempting to make conversation as they started to eat. Bucky paled and shrank back. He glanced at Steve, his eyes full of terror.

"Guys can be with guys now," Steve softly reassured Bucky, "'n girls can be with girls. It's legal now." The terror lifted from Bucky's eyes, but he still looked tense. "We- we ain't together, though, leastways not like that," Steve added for Jenny's benefit. His voice sounded slightly strained as he said this. Jenny noted the pain in Steve's eyes.

"So... cats?" Jenny asked. She felt that changing the subject might be for the best. Given Bucky's affinity for Elijah, cats seemed to be a much safer option than relationships.

"Cats," Bucky agreed, looking fondly down at Elijah. "Cats are good. Fierce, soft."

"Just like you, huh, Buck?" Steve said with a friendly jab of his elbow. "Ya got those sharp claws 'n teeth but really, you're just a big softie," he continued.

Bucky took a bite of his mac and cheese and chewed it thoughtfully, his eyes closed. "Alleyways," he said after a minute, opening his eyes. "Ate the rats."

"That's right," Steve agreed, nodding. "An ya were friends with every one of 'em. Dodger, Tiger, Francis..."

Steve, Jenny, and Bucky made the conversation about cats last all the way through dinner. They had all known many cats through the years. Talking about their antics elicited raspy chuckles from Bucky. Every time this happened Steve grinned and looked at Bucky with so much tenderness that it made Jenny's heart ache to see it. The hopeful little glances Bucky kept darting towards Steve told her she wasn't the only one to notice.


	7. The Candles are Burning Low

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first night of Hanukkah at the Barnes' comes to a close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from "Hanukkah, Oh Hanukkah."

After dinner Steve watched Becca while Bucky helped his mom clean up. Becca, who had a strong imagination, insisted that she was the eldest Maccabee. Steve, meanwhile, was forced into the role of a dastardly pagan. "Take dat! An' dat!" Becca cried as she brandished a stick that, in the summer months, was used to prop open windows. The rest of the year it made an excellent pretend sword.

"Nooo!" Steve cried, cowering on the floor in mock fear.

"Gee, Steve, never thought I'd see ya 'fraid of anythin'," Bucky said with a grin. He casually strolled into the living room areawith a small top and a small bag of candies.

"It's just pretend," Steve grumbled, sitting up. He rubbed his elbow where he'd knocked it on the bare wood floor while pretending to flail. He'd have a nice bruise in the morning.

"I killed da pagan," Becca announced proudly. Her 'sword' dropped to the floor with a clatter as she clasped her tiny hands behind her back and puffed out her chest. She was clearly imitating her father and her brother.

Bucky frowned a bit and glanced from Becca to Steve, then to the kitchen, where Mrs. Barnes was drinking tea and listening to the radio. "Just- be nice ta Steve, Becks, 'k? He gets beat up enough without you doin' it too." Becca and Steve both glared at Bucky as he said this, so he quickly changed the subject. "Anyway, it's dreidel time!" he enthused.

"Candy!" Becca yelled gleefully, jumping up and down. Steve grinned and settled into a cross-legged position on the floor. Bucky joined him.

"'K," Bucky began as he dumped out the candy, "We spin it 'n see how it lands. N is nothin', G is everythin', H is half, an' S ya gotta put one back in." Becca looked disinterested at the explanation of the rules. Clearly she was just in this to eat candy.

Steve felt, and apparently looked, concerned. "Ain't that gamblin'?" he asked. Gambling was not an activity Sarah Rogers approved of.

Bucky shrugged. "It's just candy," he reassured Steve, "'Sides, it's tradition." Steve nodded and privately resolved not to tell his mother about this. She might not mind- not if it was tradition- but he didn't want to risk being banned from the Barnes'.

The game didn't last long anyway. Becca threw a tantrum when Bucky landed on Gadol with his first spin. This drew Mrs. Barnes away from her radio program. Her tall form glowering over the three children quickly quelled Becca's shrieks of rage and disappointment. "You'll split the candy three ways 'n go ta bed," Mrs. Barnes ordered.

"Yes, Ma," Bucky, Becca, and Steve mumbled in unison. Steve felt himself blush from the shame of having gotten in trouble at a friends' house- not that there was much he could have done to prevent the situation, he reflected. Perhaps it was a good thing he didn't have siblings.

Bucky divided the candy into three equal portions. He pushed Becca's across the floor to her, then picked up his and Steve's portion. Steve wordlessly followed Bucky into the small bedroom Bucky was fortunate enough to call his own. Steve lit the candle and shut the door as Bucky dumped the candy onto the bed. "No point brushin' our teeth is we're just gonna eat candy," Bucky reasoned as he shimmied out of his clothes and into his pajamas.

"This is why you're the brains," Steve said as he followed suit. Bucky was always full of good ideas. Steve's ideas usually got them into trouble. Of course, Steve also tended to execute his ideas the minute he thought of them; Bucky, meanwhile, was content to plot and plan until the right moment for action came. The boys were beginning to realize that when they put their heads together they were virtually unstoppable.

"I'm the brains and the brawn," Bucky corrected as he moved the candle closer to the bed and grabbed his newest comic. "You got all the heart 'n guts, punk."

"You're a jerk," Steve complained as he climbed into bed, "'M tough."

"Never said ya wasn't, punk" Bucky said as he followed Steve under the covers. Bucky always insisted that Steve take the side against the wall so he couldn't catch a draft. 

Steve liked the feeling of being hemmed in between Bucky and the wall. It was close and comforting. Steve pulled the covers around himself and popped a piece of candy into his mouth. Bucky did the same before opening the brand-new comic. Steve moved closer to see the pages better. He desperately wanted to stay awake and read with Bucky, but Bucky's warm body and strong, rhythmic breathing soon lulled Steve to sleep.


	8. A Great Miracle Happened Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The evening comes to an end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for hanging on during this wild ride!

After dinner, Steve helped Jenny clean up. Bucky slowly nursed a second alcopop (this one bright pink) while Elijah continued to nap on his lap. "D'ya feel anythin'?" Steve asked Bucky curiously as he scrubbed out the macaroni pot. Bucky looked back at Steve with confusion; his dark eyebrows knit and his icy blue eyes wary. "It's alcohol," Steve clarified, nodding towards Bucky's bottle. Pointing would have covered Jenny's apartment in soap suds.

"No," Bucky said sadly, shaking his head. "Fuck Hydra."

"Fuck Hydra," Steve agreed, "Although I can't get drunk either. I do have a friend who grows some marijuana that works, though, if we ever get home..." Steve looked tired and sad as he said this.

For the first time Jenny truly realized that the man she was washing dishes with was more than 90 years old. It was easy to forget- for the most part, he looked and acted so much like someone her own age. It also occurred to her that the man sitting at her table was probably just as old as Steve was. She had a sneaking suspicion that Bucky was, somewhat improbably, Sargent Barnes from the 107th. It was the only explanation that made sense.

Jenny found herself wanting to ask a million questions. _Was_ Bucky Sargent Barnes? If so, how had he survived? What was it like fighting Hydra? How did it feel, knowing the organization Steve thought he'd destroyed had never really gone away? The questions died on her lips as she looked at Steve's face again. Jenny could tell he was weary. She noted the beginnings of lines on his forehead and around his eyes that would never fully form, somehow standing out more prominently than she had yet seen. Perhaps some questions were better left unasked. "If you two wanna go to bed early, I'm ok with that," Jenny said instead.

"Really?" Steve asked, looking at Bucky. Bucky nodded. "I think we will," Steve told Jenny. "We'll haveta be outta here pretty early tomorrow."

"Just let me change the sheets," Jenny said as she dried the last dish.

"Thanks," Steve said with a small smile.

Jenny remade the bed with a spare set of sheets while Steve got ready for bed and Bucky did one last perimeter check. Steve and Jenny both finished before Bucky was back; Steve awkwardly bade Jenny goodnight before going into her bedroom and shutting the door. She settled into the couch with her laptop for her nightly social media fix before bed. Jenny scrolled absently, allowing the feed to mesmerize her the way the falling snow had earlier. She didn't notice Bucky had re-entered the apartment until he was standing right next to her. He coughed softly to clear his throat, making her jump. "Sorry, I didn't see you," Jenny said breathily as she clutched her chest. Her heart rate began to slowly return to normal.

"Sorry," Bucky apologized. His jaw and eyebrows were set in determination, but his eyes were soft. "Thank you," he said. Jenny was about to reply when she heard him take a deep breath. She closed her mouth and nodded to Bucky instead.

"Words are hard. I forget 'em," Bucky continued. He had clearly been rehearsing. "Memories- words- come back- randomly. Some good, some bad. Never know which- which will- which will- happen." Bucky paused here and took another deep breath. "Tonight was only good- good memories. So thank- thank you."

"You're welcome," Jenny said warmly. She blinked back the tears forming in her eyes. She had the distinct impression that Bucky didn't want sympathy. He gave her a deep nod and then headed for the bedroom, just as silently as he'd come in.

When Jenny awoke in the morning the men were gone. Instead, on the table were three pieces of paper and a black pocketknife. The smallest piece of paper had " _To Jenny, with gratitude_ " written in neat script. The other two pieces of paper were drawings, done in graphite. Jenny picked them up to take a closer look.

The first drawing was a fantastically detailed portrait of Jenny. Her curly hair seemed about to bob along with the laugh on her lips and the twinkle in her eye. Jenny felt more beautiful looking at her likeness on paper than she ever had when looking at a photograph of herself. She noticed the initials SGR in the bottom right corner, so tiny they were barely legible. If the drawings were from Steve, the pocketknife must have been from Bucky. Jenny smiled and moved on to the next drawing.

The second one had been sketched a lot faster than the first; it was much rougher and not as detailed. It was of Jenny, Elijah, Steve, and Bucky, and had been styled as though the four were taking a selfie together. Elijah, in the foreground, had been given the most detail; he looked quite regal as he eyed Bucky. Jenny was in the middle, her arms around the two men, her eyes scrunched and her mouth wide with laughter. Steve and Bucky were on either side of her, their clothing simply drawn, their facial features deliberately blurred. As Jenny looked she thought she could detect the ghost of a smile on Steve's lips and something of softness in Bucky's eyes. The initials SGR were once again in the bottom right corner, so small she had almost missed them.

Jenny began to tear up. "Thank you for sharing your light," she whispered aloud to the men in the drawing. She paused for a moment, feeling a little silly since she knew there was no way they could know or hear her words. A tear rolled down her cheek. Then, with a sigh, she turned and began to get ready for the day.


End file.
